Are you in or are you out?

Feeling restless right now. Some things seem kind of stuck in neutral, some are gaining ridiculous traction at rates I would not have put money on.

I need a new bass player. Scott had to bail on the thought of being in the band because of his upcoming class schedule and outstanding commitments to two other projects. Damn, the bass player market is looking scarce right now. I haven't heard from Brian or Nathan since the start of the break though hopefully I'll get ahold of everyone soon enough this week.

Here's my ad:
Wanted: A bass player with a melodic / contrapuntal style i.e. Bruce Thomas, Andrew Bodnar, Eli Crewes, James Jamerson, etc. for a five-piece band. Songwriting influences include New Pornographers, Elvis Costello and The Attractions, Okkervil River, early Tom Petty and The Heartbreakers, Beulah. Gear and dedication a must; backing vocals a plus. Call Cameron at (405) 401-3900.

Also, um, things are interesting on the personal front. No telling what this means beyond the immediate term, but before I get out of town on Friday I'm certainly going to know a bit better. Suffice it to say, some dates go crazy directions at crazy times, but that's why the world is a fun place. And my life is quite fun right now.

Ah, me.

I really really understand what

it is I'm getting at by making the second batch of songs / "album #2" in essence about how human beings don't do sincerity with each other when there's attraction etc. on the line. 'Cause it took me two hours tonight to open up and stop talking in trenchant one-liners shot through with self-deprecation and too much big flowery verbiage. But when I did, it was pretty nice.

I guess I mean it when I say "I fear silence". If I didn't, this would not be a blog post and I would not be a musician and I would not constantly be trying to write a better song with a better melody. Apologies to anyone who might require one. Yeah, I went there. I always do, no matter what.

Tomorrow:
> figure out band practice arrangements for the rest of the week.
> bank Conrad's check
> request the 2nd-12th of January off from FedEx and prepare for StL viaje
> work specifically on "Far Beyond Me". It is SO close to done.
> once done with that, why not "With the Lights Out"? I can't think of a reason other than time.
> is it drinkin' o' clock any time tomorrow? Who knows.
> probably will be able to finish lyrics on "Echoes and Reflections." Might work on "Let You Down".
> make some phone calls?

Tuesday:
> more of the same, minus the second and third above.

And So On:
>ad infinitum

THIS IS WHY CLASSIC ROCK MAKES ME ANGRY

Illiteracy. Illiteracy. Illiteracy.

Two of the best pop chord progressions ever written belong to "Monkey Man" by The Rolling Stones and "I Need a Lover" by Johnny Cougar.

Two of the worst lyric sheets in the English language belong to "Monkey Man" by The Rolling Stones and "I Need a Lover" by Johnny Cougar.

Pete Brown, the London-based Mod impressionist poet, wrote almost all of Cream's best lyrics. That should have set some kind of precedent, but nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Music n' Me 12/20/2008 before I pass out edition

...from tired. From tired. But you can never tell with this blog...

> "Weekend Holiday" is finally done! And it only took five months!

Well, anyway, trusting my gut on the chord changes and "Little Wild One"-minor guitar solo finally got some stuff done. And not a moment too soon.

Scott seems hella down, Aaron will call me when he's off tomorrow, Brian is in Amarillo, and Nathan apparently thinks he's fired for missing the clusterfuck "practice" Thursday night. But he's not, and should therefore get back to me.

This puts the total complete / ready to be played on by other members list at:
1. Or Don't
2. Count Me Out
3. Weekend Holiday
4. Picket Line Breaks Down
5. Who Are You This Time?
6. Ghosts Dance

Next up, probably "Far Beyond Me". And then I guess "With the Lights Out." And then probably "Bad Boyfriend" or "She Knows All Your Flaws." Or, crap, maybe "Like a Clock" once I rewrite the progression on it. Basically anything but "Nineteen Steps." ANYTHING. Ah well, the break provides in spades so far.

Miscellany n' Me, 12/18/2008

Well, goodness. So much randomness.

> My last ever final at OU, today. Tape-measure homer, I think. I THINK.
> Played music with Brian and later with Brian and Aaron. Brian is a ridiculously skilled drummer, but maybe a bit busy style-wise right now. He has good ideas, but JESUS MAN NOT EVERYONE LISTENING IS A DRUMMER WHO THINKS HE'S BETTER THAN YOU. Ah well, he'll surely fall in line. On a related note, Aaron and Brian both are kinda slow on picking up song structure. Goddamn. It's not like I'm Robert Fripp.
> But on the positive, they are two of the most gifted musicians I've ever played with ever.

> Odd "Norman High / North" reunion at Blu tonight featuring half The Evangelicals (Kyle and Jonesy), James Burke, David Weiss, Lance Custar (stumble-drunk and buying everyone drinks), a handful of peripheral NHS Class of 05ers, Aaron (an hour after I saw him at band practice), Bob Milstein (drunk and rubbing my tummy), Nick Bartell (who didn't recognize me because of my beard) and Bri (who was at three of the five places I went today) and... Stephanie Holliman. Random Waffle House Dates in Winter 05/Spring 06 Stephanie. Meh, neato. On both counts.

Gotta get some shit moving. We'll see tomorrow.

Music n' Me, 12/15/2008

Things accomplished today:
> Footswitch arrived for the Vox Box. Integrated it into my setup successfully. No-brainer.
> FINALLY solidified the bridge lick for "Picket Line Breaks Down" and figured out how to conclude it after a few stabs in the dark. Jeez, it's only been five months...
> Figured out how awesome the tremolo effect on the Vox Box sounds for the bridge of "Ghosts Dance".
> Wrote, then forgot, all unfinished parts of "Far Beyond Me" [prechorus, bridge]. Now I must relearn them. Arrgh.
> Got "Ghosts Dance" and "Picket Line" somewhat solid with Aaron. Still have to give him all of "Who Are You This Time?" / anything else seemingly pertinent.

Things I'm hoping to do soon:
> Get Nathan caught up on stuff.
> Get Brian into the loop of things [ditto Scott, but that must wait until next week].
> Finish for certain "Weekend Holiday" -- will need trem arm for the Strat, it's being shipped.
> Same with "Certain Signals," though that one's easy.
> Make chord / bar sheets for all the current ongoing songs (That's "Or Don't," "Count Me Out," "Ghosts Dance," "Picket Line," "Far Beyond Me," and "Who Are You This Time" for those of you playing at home).
> DEAR GOD figure out what I'm doing so wrong when singing while playing guitar.
> Decide if / where / how the Big Muff fits into my signal chain.


That's too much in the "to do" column, not nearly enough in the "done" column. Ah well, it's the life.



addendum: I don't remember making that last post on here. 3:38am with my ass six sheets to the wind. The low typo rate makes me think that somehow, when I'm DRANK, I'm still deceptively lucid. Then again... refer to actual post content.

WOAH. EWWW.

1) ADDING pizza bites to any Fat Sandwich = SADNESS. Delicious SADNESS.

2) I am like WAYYYYYY more of a manwhore than usualy when I'm drunk. Not that this is news, but I totally launched into the stratosphere tonite via text message.

a: propositioning a person I stopped "talking" to a while ago and getting laughed down / reproached.

b: propositioning every female in The Libe; thank god at least some of them can't get text messages.

c: pourin' it all out to a girl with whom I'm conducting PURE BUSINESS [near as I can tell]. Not "propositioning" per se, but not flattering to my drunk ass anyhow.


Tomorrow: study w/ Bri @ 1 (assuming no "myserious" cancellations... I'm a DUMB), work, hammer out some arrangements w/ Aaron. And NO eating Fat Sandwich. Two drunkmeals in three nights ain't my cup o' tea.

Music n' Me, update 12/13/2008

"Ghosts Dance," which to my ears is the obvious single out of the batch of songs I'm working with, is DONE on my end.

Other updates:
a) New running order

1. Or Don't
2. With the Lights Out
3. Bad Boyfriend
4. Count Me Out
5. Weekend Holiday
6. Picket Line Breaks Down
7. Service Sector
8. She Knows All Your Flaws
9. Who Are You This Time?
10. Far Beyond Me
11. Nineteen Steps
12. Ghosts Dance
13. Like a Clock

b) New additions

Aaron Daniels - guitar (/vocals?)
Nathan Martin - keys (/ vocals?)

c) The rest of the theoretical line-up

Scott Harper - bass
Brian Barbee - drums


Ghosts Dance
(lyrics, music by Cameron Ferguson)

The old ways and means are meaningless,
There's just no way
To find an honest day's wage
At the end of a halfhearted day
Pockets filled with ghosts of money -
Pockets buried in receipts -
That tell me just where you've been,
You've been turning in my sleep
But what you throw away
Says as much as what you keep

And ghosts dance on my walls at night,
They move to songs that still excite you
In translucent tones of lukewarm light
I wish they didn't have the right to,
But they do...

So now I wake up bathed in
Lakes of lukewarm sweat,
Shivering out a fever
I'm not running yet
Ghosts of fingers on my neck,
Ghosts of footsteps on the floor -
It's been a long time since I
Felt like I could adore you --
I'm sorry if I bored you,
Maybe I might've meant to

[ref.]

{bridge}
And they ride away on their pale horses
To reclaim this scorched earth
On their unearthly courses
But there's just no revoking
Interlocking, heartbroke shocking

The old maps and trails are blazing
In the laps of fires
Another dusk, another dance awaits
When I retire
I don't mean to play the part of
Some willing martyr
In the old lists and charts,
Listlessly repealing charters
But waiting's not the hardest part --
Knowing no one's coming's harder

[ref.]

They ride away
They ride away
They ride
Away

Jesus is my co-pilot

Badass find in a National Geographic that was in a tire shop.

Music n' Me, II

Complete and ready to go

> Count Me Out
> Or Don't
> Picket Line Breaks Down
> Who Are You this Time?
> Certain Signals

Minor tweaks and decisions needed

> With the Lights Out
> Bad Boyfriend
> Weekend Holiday
> Like a Clock [yes, it's back!]
> Far Beyond Me
> Out With It

Some work done, mostly intros

> Distraction
> Hope Against Hope
> Nineteen Steps
> She Knows All Your Flaws
> Broadcast Range
> Service Sector
> Need to Need You, Baby

Pretty words don't mean much anymore / vocal melodies only

> Sad Story
> The Drift [may get repurposed alt-country or whatever]
> Promotion
> Room For Improvement

hopefully the first record will look like:
1. Or Don't
2. With the Lights Out
3. Bad Boyfriend
4. Count Me Out
5. Weekend Holiday
6. Picket Line Breaks Down
7. Need to Need You, Baby
8. Far Beyond Me
9. Service Sector
10. She Knows All Your Flaws
11. Who Are You This Time?
12. Nineteen Steps
13. Like a Clock

HOPEFULLY.

Music n' Me

Okay, this is finally happening... I think. Three of the four other musicians I need to have the lineup I desire for my band are at least theoretically on board. My gear is assembled. I have at least five songs that I would consider stem-to-stern complete on my part right now. And I'm not doing college next semester, so that frees me up capacity-wise (more on that later). Once I lock down a day job, I'll be golden.

"Am I perhaps growing cynical?" -- these are my last three completed lyric sheets, at least from a possibly-to-be-used standpoint (All lyrics, music by Cameron Ferguson... internet legalese):

Far Beyond Me

You don't even amuse me --
Don't make me laugh with your silence
When you're just trying to use me,
And you've got it down to a science -
Beyond good and evil,
Beyond the pale of decency
Why you think you're above it
Is far beyond me

You're so sure you can shut me out
Without a single word
But if you mean to leave me shaken,
You don't even get me stirred -
Everybody needs a project
Best kept off the projector
But the pen is mightier
Than any pocket protector

* 'Cause I've passed
This test before
And I've felt
Disgust before -
If you've already
Discussed it,
Take this set and
Don't try to adjust it

[ref.]

If you want the last word,
You better take it with your last breath
'Cause this kind of casual callousness
Has got me bored to death
Disposable affection
Just leaves me indisposed,
So put the tag on your toe
Because this case is closed

** Black is black
And pink is pink -
You've shown me both,
So what was I thinking?
If this isn't
Class chemistry,
It's just the kind
From drinking

[ref.]

{bridge}
Oh, I've been PNG'd
By better people with better wrongs
Before
This is so slightly touching,
You must be slightly touched
But that's too much for me to ignore

[ref.]
Repeat last two lines into fade.


The Drift [apologies to actual events]

We took your wedding flowers
To the trash incinerator
You never said it, but I sensed it:
Maybe it's come to far,
It may later --
We're not just burning picket fences
Anymore
Are you sure this is what you really want?
I'm not sure this is what I want
I don't think we know what we want

Long nights and car rides
And carnal convulsions -
Are you wearing down? Your paint is peeling
Into his & hers sinks, and shopping,
And sinking
The sneaking suspicion of sneaky feelings
Anymore
Are you sure this is where you want to go?
I don't think this is where I want to go
Anymore, we don't know

And I think I catch --
It's all caught in the drift
And flush, and bereft
Trying to repurpose all that's left

We cursed the memories
Of forgotten lovers -
Retouched photos in retooled frames
With touches made too much,
The terrifying tremors -
At first blush, it's all the same
Anymore
And I'm sure this isn't what you need
I know this isn't what I need
But I can tell where it's gonna lead

{bridge}
And in the low glow, in the dark
It's all too plain to see
That the contacts are throwing sparks
But you can't fill the holes in you
With the ones in me

[ref. (2x?)]


Sad Story

Keep one eye on the clock -
The clock keeps running -
The time is running out,
You know your time is coming:
Face becoming indistinct,
Indifference comes calling -
What becomes of your flight instinct
When you're already falling?

Find your place in the waiting room,
They're soon to call your name -
Waiting on the edge of the bed,
It's pretty much the same:
On edge, on the scene
Prepare your parting word
Because you're very seldom seen
Let alone heard

* Now you've exhausted your last extension;
Your last stay of execution;
You're pictures in an exhibition,
Just a name for exposition

Just someone's new sad story
For someone's new next sad story

With one eye on the door,
The light keeps on creeping
Through the crack; through the facade
The cracks are deepening
The anecdotes are down to an art,
It's just a question of the date --
And in between the fading days
All that's left is watch-and-wait

** All the causes, existential;
All your crimes are ex post facto;
Excitement is inconsequential --
Extenuations gets redacted

[ref.]

{bridge}
Waiting in the open sea,
Full steam, the next to come along
Waiting for the sight of periscopes,
The white trails, the false alarms
The phony war, the threat of arms
It's another sad story,
Another album's share of songs

[*]
[ref.]


Verdict: Yes, yes I am.